While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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