I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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