Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My ass is underappreciated
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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