i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
