made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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