help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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