I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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