That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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