Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
