well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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