I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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