Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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