I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
