I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
