thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
