Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
