Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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