Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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