So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
