The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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