she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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