btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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