you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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