well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
