I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
