idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
