With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
