new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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