Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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