YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Randomize
