I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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