Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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