Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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