Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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