Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
