glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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