Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
