I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
