I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
