Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

My mind says no, but my body says yes.

(703): View more from Virginia

What does your body say about chlamydia?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex

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(201): View more from New Jersey

She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain

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(916): View more from California

Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today

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(630): View more from Illinois

In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional

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(949): View more from California

Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?

(714): View more from California

OMG YOU DID TO?!

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