I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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