walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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