We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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