My hand turned me down
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
