can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
