Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
