WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
