Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
