Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
