I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
