i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
